1. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. Galatians 6:7
2. Do not judge lest you be judged yourselves. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it shall be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
3. For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment. James 2:13
4. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:37-38
5. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you--who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12
6. You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Romans 2:1
We can discern if something is good or bad, right or wrong, but still not judge.
7. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. Hebrews 12:15
If we judge and it grows a root of bitterness, then many others can be affected and defiled by it.
8. Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5:16
If we do not honor, but instead judge our parents in an area, even as a young child when we really do not understand the situation, then things will not go well with us in that area of our lives.
No matter what people do to us, we are to love and bless them, even those who hate us and curse us. How we respond is the important thing. But if we judge them instead, we will be judged.
9. You have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I tell you: Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:43-44
Probably every married couple has bitter-root judgments that are affecting their relationship. Remember we reap more than we sow and there is a time delay. This is a spiritual law. If there was judging, there will be reaping.
We usually judge our parents and reap from our spouses, but not always. Usually the judgment of our parents is long ago, small, and forgotten; but if there is reaping, there has been sowing. Its possible to have very dysfunctional parents and still not judge them, so there will be no reaping. Sometimes we reap through children, a boss, a pastor or a neighbor. Sometimes it is even the weather.
Sometimes we ourselves do the reaping. In whatever area we have judged another, we find ourselves “doing the same things,” and we can’t seem to stop. Spiritual law operates whether we know about it or not. If we judge as a child or an adult, we will reap judgment in some way, in the same area that we have judged. Remember that the law of sowing and reaping guarantees that nobody ever gets away with anything, but then nobody ever goes unrewarded either.
If our spouses have changed and they are not like they were before we married them, it may very well be that they have been defiled by our judging. The need to reap will overcome the strongest natural tendencies.
There is a pattern:
a) alcoholic father, alcoholic husband
b) poor providing parent, poor providing husband
c) weak father, weak husband
d) cold and distant father, cold and distant spouse
e) critical parent, critical spouse
f) workaholic father, workaholic husband
g) fat mother, fat wife
h) sick mother, sick wife
i) rejecting father, rejecting spouse
j) unfaithful father, unfaithful spouse
k) abusive father, abusive husband
l) absent father, absent spouse
Living in essentially the same situation as children and then as adults, or having the same issues in our second marriage as we had in our first marriage because we judged our spouse in our first marriage, we come to expect that life will always be that way.
Jesus paid the price of all our reaping on the cross, but we must appropriate it, just like we must appropriate our salvation. It is not automatic.
First, forgive the person for doing whatever they did that caused you to judge them. You must be very specific as to what they did, like rejecting you or being abusive. You may want to read the "Forgiveness" topic and say that prayer.
Prayer: In the name of Jesus, I repent and ask for forgiveness for judging _______ for _______. I also repent for influencing _______ for (doing the same thing to me) because he was defiled by my judging. (If you were the one defiled and doing what you judging another for, just repent for influencing yourself.) I call the bitter root to death on the cross so that it will not be causing any more problems, and I bless (whoever was defiled). I ask for healing for all the hurts and problems that were caused by this judgment and I ask for restoration of all relationships that were damaged. I now expect that my life will no longer be influenced by this judgment. Thank You, Lord for revealing to me why certain things were happening in my life. In Jesus' name, amen.
It may be hard to believe that bitter-root judgment can be such a powerful influence on a person's life, but it can. Even if a person does not remember judging ("They were not guilty of anything."), if the reaping is there, the judging probably was there also. If there was no judging, repenting will do no damage. The person affected by the judging is not entirely innocent either. They usually have had tendencies in the direction that they were defiled in, so it was easy for them to slip into that role.